Things You Might Not Know

I am an introvert. Being in a room with more than one person makes me nervous. Actually, unless the one person is my wife Pamela, sometimes one is too many.

Most people think I’m an extrovert. I taught school for forty-nine years, constantly in front of a classroom, meeting with students and parents, coaching high school speech and debate, and later at Augustana College pushing my Performance Studies classes out into the public. Turns out lots of introverts are performers, too.

I’m also not a risk taker. I hate conflict. I don’t like noise. Travel terrifies me. My perfect destination is my red La-Z-Boy. People don’t know these things about me because I’ve traveled to Scandinavia, Europe, and Central America. I went to Guatemala seven times. I wrote an award-winning play, drove a flashy red sports car, wore a different tie every day for a school year, and drifted down the Alligator River in the Outback of Australia with Pamela.

And there you have it. She is the key to who I can be versus who I am. My wife has given me the most amazing gift. She stretched out her hand in support and allowed me to step outside myself.

For example, one day we stopped by the Nissan dealer to get a power window fixed in her Maxima. In the used car lot was this low-slung beauty, a fire engine red 1992 300ZX. I was drawn to it like a magnet. A salesman came out and offered a test drive. I shook my head. How could a ever own a car like this? Pamela said, “Why not?”

Every time I’ve allowed my fears to get in the way of my dreams, she’s been there. “Why not go back to graduate school?” “Why not take a cruise?” “Why not retire from BHS as soon as you can? You’ll find something to do.” She believed in me more than I believed in myself.

Left to my own devises, I’d spend every day with my laptop writing stories I might never dare to send out. Nope. Not going to happen on her watch. And so me, terrified of water, went whitewater rafting with her, and kayaking, and sail boating. She never got me on the Maid of the Mist at Niagara Falls, but it’s not because she didn’t try. Facing my fears has worked out pretty well. That’s because Pamela was always there as my emotional safety net. What an amazing gift! What love!